Budget cuts are everywhere these days…
https://www.theonion.com/struggling-amtrak-to-discontinue-mysterious-late-night-1819580227
[quote]
The trains, which according to Amtrak timetables leave once daily at the stroke of midnight, their headlamps cutting through thick tendrils of billowing fog as they travel nonstop to points along their accursed route, will cease all operations September 1 as part of an effort to better allocate resources.
“The cost-cutting measures we’ve introduced today include the termination of service to all stops between Amtrak terminals and the domain of shadows that drives men to complete and utter madness,” CEO Charles Moorman told reporters during a press conference. “The fuel required for these long journeys to ominous and inexplicable destinations within the spirit realm greatly increases our operating costs, as does the need to staff each car with the ghosts of our passenger’s deceased relatives.”
“Service will continue through the end of the month,” he added. “At that point, any pained, restless mortals unable to find a moment of solace since the horrible accident on the eve of their wedding will have to make other travel arrangements.”
“The cost-cutting measures include the termination of service to all stops between Amtrak terminals and the domain of shadows that drives men to complete and utter madness.”
According to financial records, the Hereafter Regional Line, which originates in a faint hazy glow in the distance and makes stops along the void bridging the worlds of the living and the dead, has been operating at a loss since the early 2000s. Though its service has been curtailed over the years, the train’s stops have been known to include a deserted station at which a faceless man in a frock coat waits to board, a perfectly still moonlit lake, a manor house in which the motionless silhouette of a young woman can be seen in the only lighted window, and a gaping chasm from which one can hear the tortured screams of the damned. [/quote]
